You know when...

Just when you think there is no possibility of anything even remotely exciting ever happening to your life again.... something gives you a glimmer of hope :)

I have plenty of other exciting things going on, like coaching...but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about deeper stuff.

I feel like sometimes I'm afraid to let myself be too happy or get my hopes up too high, because, well let's face it... there has been a lot of let down in my life. Not on my family's part or anything like that. I'm talking about things that I saw potential in that didn't pan out and left me scratching my head and...sad? I don't know if that's the right word, but the angry grumbling creature in my stomach demanding lunch is distracting me from the plethora of vocabulary words that normally circulate in my head.

Nothing is more disappointing than getting your hopes up for something, and then never getting to feel it, see it, really have it in your life. This is why I try not to get excited about things so much anymore. I feel like if I downplay it to outsiders (and try to fool myself into thinking its not a huge deal) that somehow, it actually WILL turn out the way I secretly desire. Or perhaps this is just me "going with the flow" from now on.

I'm still very confused about this part of me. Why are we afraid to be happy? I guess I just can't stand the remote possibility of feeling let down anymore. That feeling has smacked me between the eyes one time too many in my life.

I have patiently (tossing and turning at night, naggy blogging) been waiting for something new and interesting to come into my life. I am right on the verge of something slight. But right now, slight is HUGE. All I've wanted to do is meet new people and make new friends at home. Life after college is tough when you're ripped away from your group of friends, and thrown back into a place you haven't lived for four years. It's kind of like..."Ok, what now?" I'm slowly starting to branch out. Meeting people. Most people think I'm some huge extrovert, but deep down inside, I'm a little shy when it comes to being proactive about "finding" new people. I mean, that last statement alone sounds so "40 year-old virginish." Bottom line is....I'm getting there, and each day is more exciting than the last.

I will patiently wait to see how all of this pans out.

( . /\ . ) ps- someone said this is supposed to look like boobs...anyone seeing this?

DUH!

Oh my gosh I'm such a MORON!

How could I forget to include in the updates that....drumroll please....

MY SISTER IS PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND BABY!!!!!!!

That's right....I get to be an aunt to another beautiful little boy or girl! Lila doesn't really know what all of this means yet, but in 7 more months, it will all become a little more clear.

She has labeled me "Shten" As in Krishten. She gets on the phone and says "Hiiii Shten." Maybe she will master Aunt Kristen by the time baby number 2 arrives :)

I'm just elated for my sister and brother in-law right now! I cornered my sister in my office a few weeks ago and said "Something's up...what's going on?" She said nothing, so I informed her that she is the world's worst liar so she needed to come clean before I forced it out of her. I asked if she was pregnant and she said no. She then left my office and came back, pulled a pee-stick (that was capped people) out of her pocket and handed it to me. PREGGERS!

I had to hold the secret in until she told my parents and family. That was hard.... She decided to tell everyone by putting her little girl up to it... check out the link and see the picture :) Lila

Funk

I got called out today but one, Ms. Brittany Hunter, for not blogging in a while.

She is correct. It's been a while... Busy doesn't even begin to describe my life lately. Loving it, but very tired.

Here are some updates:

Oak Ridge bball is going well. First scrimmage tomorrow. I'm starting to feel more and more comfortable there every day. The girls are really starting to come around and listen to all of us coaches. Still...I miss my little 11 year olds. Much more of a joy to be around!

Job is going well. Went last week to take my state Property and Casualty test. Failed thT son of a bitch by one damn point. With that test you have to get a 70 to pass. Most people score right at or just above 70. Had a damn 69, so now I have to go again.

Grandma is officially moved to NC. Her new townhome is kickass and I'm actually looking at building a custom one in the same complex for myself.

Got a new dog! His name is Louie and he's absolutely adorable. Pics are on facebook!

Lastly, had the best Halloween ever! I dressed up as Joan Jett and was completely badass!!!

Other than that, nothing. Been a busy little bee! I'll write more when I'm not so comatose feeling. Besides my SLIGHT wine buzz is beginning to wear off which means nothing juicy.

Was that enough Honey B? :-)

Decisions, Decisions

Work------Monday-Friday (8:00am - 5:00pm)
High School Practice------Monday-Friday (6:30pm-8:45pm)
AAU Practice-------Saturdays (11:00am-1:00pm)
Individual Instruction------Saturdays/Sundays (anytime)


Hmmm....

I'd say I'm just a tad busy.


I'm always coming and going. Am I coming home after work, or am I going to practice after work? I can't tell which is right half the time. This sounds like too busy of a schedule for some. When I really think about it, I'm like holy shit, Kristen...where did your life go?

But then I think that through. My life didn't go anywhere. If anything, my life went awry in college. Basketball has always been my life. It was my life until college, but then my foot happened, which lead to senior year...and looking back, I wasn't happy. I wasn't satisfied. There was always something missing. Two things missing to be exact. One of them is back now. Basketball.

Coaching my kids this fall re-lit the fire. It reaffirmed my longing to coach in college one day. So...giving my weekends to a bunch of 12 year olds...that sounds like a great weekend to me. Now, in addition to head coaching my AAU girls, I'm assistant coaching at a high school. As said schedule shows, that is also quite time consuming. We basically have a college-level schedule.

So here's the gist of it. I may not "go out" on Fridays or Saturdays anymore. I may spend my weekends with 12-18 year olds and their parents. I may travel to games and get home at 1 in the morning. I may have practice every day. But you know what? This is all I've ever really known. And I like it that way. Last year without it, there was too much time for bullshit. There was drama. There was this and that. I don't want any of that.

Some might call it lame, but I call it ambition. I've always found a way to balance social and work, and I fully intend to do so now as well.

I enjoy being busy. I enjoy being on the go. There is less bullshit in your life that way.

Goldfrapp

I love Goldfrapp. If you've never listened to them, you should. There is a song for just about every single emotion and feeling out there. Love, giddy, happy, sad, out of control, horny, dizzy, free-falling, tired, out of control, like you're on speed, lonely, anxious...

Love it.

I hope Oscar is okay :'-(

Life Update

AAU season is unofficially over for the fall. I say that because we will continue to practice, but only once a week as more of a skills session, rather than a game preparation mentality. I couldn't have asked for a better response from all the girls in regards to the changes they faced. I came in, challenged them and kicked their butts. Most of them caught on pretty quick. Some of them haven't caught on...mostly because of their parents.

Overall, I am extremely pleased with their progression. I had my doubts after our first tournament, but after a few changes on my part in what we worked on in practice, they really came around. We played for a championship in our last tournament against the defending State  Champions--lost by 13. That is HUGE considering my team, in the past, lost to them by 40 or 50 every time. We turned a lot of heads in the past two weeks.

Apparently I'm a good coach? I was approached by a lot of people at our last two tournaments congratulating me on the job I've done in turning the team around. Remarkable and unbelievable were a couple of the words thrown around. It wasn't all me, however. My assistant and I work extremely well together. Still, though...we are only a small part. We can only guide them...we can't play for them. They are the ones out on the court every game. The turn around is because of how they bought in to our coaching. Gee I'm proud :-)

Because of all of this, I've had a multitude of coaching offers from some of the area high schools. I decided the best opportunity for me would be at Oak Ridge Military Academy. There is a lot of talent there, that I can help prepare for college. Plus...I'll get to become involved with college coaches again. AKA get my name out there for my dream job.

Practice for that is underway... Excluding their terrible attitudes, it's great! haha. More on that as it unfolds. I'm heading up to Richmond this weekend to see old friends. I miss that place!!!

Age is just a number, baby.

Age.

I've always bee very mature for my age. People have said that since I can remember. Oftentimes, it has made it more difficult to connect with people my own age...but I've managed!

I've always enjoyed the fact that while I'm pretty mature, I can still get in touch with my younger, inner child side. The playful side.

But what about those people who are stuck in the younger years? You all know who I'm talking about. That one friend you know who never acts their age. Not in terms of having fun or goofing around...but in terms of their maturity. It's like they are stuck at the ripe age of 18. And it annoys the hell out of you.

The way they treat people. The way these individuals conduct themselves in certain situations. You have to be careful...if you hang around them too often, you find yourself acting idiotically young too.

::smacks forehead::

Doh. We've all been there. While we care about these people, isn't it best to just cut them out of the picture? I mean....they only come running to you with the same, exact set of problems as 1, maybe 2 months earlier. Enough is enough right?

I mean, how many times can you talk someone out of them thinking that "Jessie doesn't like mehhhh because she didn't text me baaaaack in like, 5 minutes. Oh my goshhhhh...that means she like, doesn't care about mehhhh." To which you say, "Oh now...I'm sure she was just tied up for a second." ::in your mind, "you know...tied up going to the bathroom, maybe having a REAL conversation with another human being...maybe going through a drive thru..."::

"Oh my gossshhhhhh...you don't care about me eitherrrrrrrr..... You just want to stick up for Jessie. UGHHH you never take my sideeeeee."

Yea. No f'in shit, Sherlock. Because you're a complete psycho and you're never right.

::deep breath::

These...my friends....are the ones I'm talking about. We all know people like that. Luckily for me, I can't say I have any of those in my life at the moment. Nor do I plan on ever catering to such a situation in the future. But I've heard enough stories this week from friends about this situation to relate to them, and post my thoughts.

For those of you out there stuck at 18 terrible years of age.... Grow the fcuk up. Whining is not attractive. Being needy? Not attractive either.

Independence? Now there's a turn on.

For those of you listening to such infantile complaints and remarks...cut ties. People like that will never learn. They will only continue to piss you off and make the same mistakes.

Cut them out.