i hate the world today..

I hate the world right now. I hate the fact that society and the world today can put so much pressure on people like me. I hate the fact that we have to lie... Lie about what makes us happy. Who we're with. How we feel about them.

It is beyond unfair the pressure that some parents can place on their children to live up to some sort of expectation they have. Why must we suppress our emotions just to conform to some view our elders have placed on us since birth.

So we're a little bit different...we like other things. Why should we have to go through hell just to be who we are? Someone I love is hurting right now...and I feel awful because I've been there. To an extent, I'm still there. I still feel guilty sometimes...

It boils down to the fact that we love our parents dearly. We don't want to disappoint them. All we want is their love, support and approval. We try and protect our parents from things we think will hurt or upset them. But at some point...we destroy ourselves in the process.

It kills me that some parents can make a child feel so afraid to express his or herself that they destroy themselves. Look at all of the teen suicides...its not just school bullying... Parents don't know the stress they put on their children in situations like this.

ALL WE WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU HAPPY, PARENTS.

As children, we grow up hearing "just be yourself.." Why is that revoked once we're older and can make our own life decisions? At some point, we have to realize we are adults and should make our decisions based on what is best for us. We love our parents and respect them...but we are adults. We shouldn't have to feel like we have run around like little kids and hide certain things about ourselves.

I mostly hate the world because I can't be there drying tears right now. I'm stuck here fighting my thoughts and fears, all while worrying myself to death over someone else. I feel helpless because there is virtually nothing I can do, and I'm not ok with it. When you love someone, you're always there for them. I hate being at someone else's mercy...I hate feeling helpless and left to guess at what is going to happen next. I guess that's where I'm not patient in life.

I just want to be able to do something...