My Roomie

Love seems to be flowing all around me these days... Maybe it's the changing seasons or something...not sure. The weather has everyone feelin' frisky!! :)

Today my roommate took a huge step in his life. Well...it started with a ring that he purchased. Yes...THE ring. For his wonderful girlfriend of five years. Today he officially asked her parents for her hand in marriage. He was nervous, but we sat down and talked about it last night. So proud of him today :) He really is like a brother to me...I consider him family, so this was a big day!! They met in high school and have been dating ever since. Marisol is a quiet, sweet young woman. Together, they have this simple but infectious love for each other that is blatantly obvious to anyone around them. They have their fights, their days where they can't stand each other... But at the end of the day, it's the kind of love that embraces those moments. They are younger than me, but act older than they are. Jacob is the kind of guy I would want my son to be like. Responsible, brave, independent, hard working, warm, kindhearted and strong. He is proposing this month and I can't wait to share their joy. The engagement comes as no surprise, but it is still an exciting time for them. I wish them a lifetime of abundant happiness and love!

Billy Currington "Until You"

Let's just take our time
There's nothing else to do
What better way to spend the night
Wasting it with you
The moon has won the war
The daylight waits to win
Stay here by my side
We'll watch the struggle start again

I need you
Now and forever
To stay right here with me
Don't ever leave
Love was kept
From me like a secret
And I swore I was through
Until you
Until you

The city's settled down
I watch you as you sleep
There's a silent celebration
For every breath you breathe
All this now makes sense
With you as company
I left all I knew and found
The better part of me

I need you
Now and forever
To stay right here with me
Don't ever leave
Love was kept
From me like a secret
And I swore I was through
Until you
Until you

The time it took to find you
I would wait again, my baby
For the feelings that I feel with you now

I need you
Now and forever
To stay right here with me
Don't ever leave
Love was kept
From me like a secret
And I swore I was through
Until you
Until you
Until you
Until you

Waking Up For October

I wrote a post called Wake Me Up When September ends... Welp, September is just about over and I feel like it's time to wake up!!!!

The stuff I worried about all September is all behind me now. Things that I dreamed about are becoming a reality and it is truly awesome. I was talking with my roommate about it last night and I was telling him that I'm really happy, but am so so so afraid to just BE happy. I feel like I keep myself in check by thoughts like this. It's like I gain the world's respect because I keep in mind that sometimes the rug can be pulled out from under you.

I don't know...I'm just so used to always dealing with some sort of hassle that I am terrified when things go my way. It's sad that's the kind of world we live in. But, I am very very happy with how things have gone.

Sarah is moving here. Right after Europe, she got a job. Which is what we both hoped for. It's been such an amazing ride these last 10 months and I really can't wait to have her here. Not 90 miles apart. Not an hour and a half away. It's such a relaxing feeling...

Other than dealing with the hassles of moving and the like, I think she's very happy with all of this. There's so many things I can't wait to experience. It sounds odd, but I can't wait  for the little tiffs, the times where we're annoyed with each other...all of that stuff that makes you appreciate the other more. I can't wait for sunrises and sunsets, fun times with friends, lazy weekends, good days, bad days, dates, arguments and endless laughter, celebrating with friends and making new ones... It's going to be an amazing journey.

On another note, this weekend is the last AAU tournament of the fall. I'm happy because I need my weekends right now. The weather is turning beautiful and it's time to enjoy it. Not be in a gym all day. Can't! Wait!

I'm ready to crack the windows and welcome all the new fresh air that's blowing my way...

Lady Antebellum "Just A Kiss"

Lyin' here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms
We don't need to rush this
Let's just take this slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch in the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch in the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch in the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, oh, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight
Kiss goodnight

Leeches

Last night I had some crazy dream and there were leeches in it... I googled what it meant when there are leeches in your dream and the consensus was that you are stressed and there is something that is sucking the energy out of you haha. Ok then..

I'm very tired. There is stuff going on that is stressing me out. I just want it to be next week and to know a couple of things...

Last night I attended the Guilford County Sports Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Saw a lot of people I knew from over the years.. I really didn't think about what I was going to until I was actually there. Then it kind of hit me when I heard all of these people recounting all their old stories and their successful careers. I ended up getting really really upset. I guess I don't think about it that much, so when I do, I realize how much everything that I went through impacted me. I sat at our table holding back tears the entire night. When I got home, I called Sarah and pretty much lost it on the phone. I hardly ever get emotional in front of people because it's just not something I enjoy doing.

I'm glad she was able to calm me down and talk some sense into me. I'm very hard on myself when it comes to living up to expectations, and I can't help but feel like I did everything BUT that. In high school, my name was bigger than how I played (in my opinion at least). Here I was...local superstar slated to attend the best school for basketball in the country...and then I couldn't get healthy. Ever since I became well-known around the area and nation, I had MANY critics. People said "you'll never make it there, she's not good enough, she's not tough enough, how in the world did she end up at uconn, what's so special about her..." Even my own teammates on my high school team questioned me and never supported me. There was always hostility and animosity towards me...even from coaches. Somewhere along the line...whether it be my injury or what people were saying...somewhere along the way I lost the edge. I lost my confidence and questioned myself. When I left for school that summer, in my head I wasn't good enough and at best, would just coast along and hopefully win a national championship.

We all know how that panned out...

It's just hard to look back at all of that and feel like a success. Sure, I made it there...but I didn't make it any further. Even at Richmond I faced the same shit from high school. I was 'the UConn transfer.' Why can't she play, I bet she's faking her injury, she is always hurt, she thinks she's special, no wonder she left UConn... It's always been the same old shit from people. It's aggrevating and I don't care who you are...when people continuously say things like that about you, it gets to you. I don't care how mentally strong you are. It gets to you.

Everybody said not to listen...but when it's all you hear about yourself, eventually you begin to believe it. I was weak and caved to it. Obviously the injury situation was the real kicker in all of this. There was legitimately something wrong and it took 5 years to prove it. 'Suck on that bitches' is how I felt after I finally found out what was wrong. Well that, and also 'shit my career is over and I did nothing I could have.'

But Sarah reminded me that I have the chance to use my coaching as a means to leave my legacy. She reminded me that it was in God's plan how everything happened and that there is something else for me to do. She's right...I know she's right, it's still just hard because as a player you want to be great. As a coach you do too...but for good athletes it's different. It's a feeling I'll never be able to fully put into words. But I really took what she said to heart last night and will try to focus on that from now on.

TGIF!!!!

I'm so freaking happy and anxious today!! Currently my girl is over Canada headed down this way :) I can't believe it's been 10 days since I've even heard her voice. Communication was held to a minimum while she was there because of spotty wifi and lots of sightseeing, not sleeping...and maybe the occasional drink ;)

All I know is I have missed the absolute hell out of her and have tried my best to keep that to myself, but it's been difficult. Distance has been hard in the past, but not being able to communicate made the distance between Charlotte and Greensboro seem like nothing. Two or three weeks without seeing each other I can handle a lot better now I think because I know I can at least talk and communicate. I really feel that she will be in Greensboro sooner rather than, later so I'm really excited about that.

I can't wait for 1:30 to roll around!!! I am soooo excited I can't stop talking about it. Everyone at work knows and is asking me about her trip and what time she gets in. It's no secret I love her that is for sure!

I'm off to dive into some work to hopefully make the time go by quicker and get me to 1:30 as soon as possible :)

A storms a brewin

I'm sitting out on my balcony...Friday night. A big storm is blowing in...feels incredible. It's been a short, but looong week. One more long one and then things can get back to normal I hope. I need a shut your brain off drug haha.

Don't have much to say.. Enjoying a Sam Adams Okstoberfest (hell yeah it's here!!), listening to a little Mumford and Sons, watching a storm with Lexi, thinking about and missing someone very special :)

Wake Me Up When September Ends

I can't believe it's September... I feel like I just got back from DC, like it was just the start of summer, like July 4th was yesterday... I can't get over it. Time flies these days. I wish Sarah's trip would fly by....for me, not for her, I want her to enjoy every second.

I've been unusually emotional and sensitive the past couple weeks. Maybe it's because I knew she'd be going and I wouldn't be seeing her for a while. I don't know, but I don't like it. Normally I'm very good about keeping my emotions in check and dealing with them internally. Lately though, it's been hard to control. It's been hard to hide bad moods, anger, sadness...who knows, probably something in the weather changing.

I can't wait for fall to start. I'm excited to see what it brings...hopefully it brings Sarah a job in Greensboro :)

We shall see, we shall see...

Today's music is a Pandora compilation based around Florence + the Machine.. one of them days..