Things changed this weekend in my relationship. Sarah told her mom about her and us.
After having a bad day and being in a horrible mood, everything came rushing out of her in a tear filled tirade. And who could blame her? After having to hide such a big part of her life for years, seriously who could blame her? At first her mom took it pretty well, but as the days have passed things have begun to sink in and as I've experienced...it gets increasingly harder for a little bit.
It's hard because you feel guilty for 'disturbing the so-called peace' in their lives. You blame yourself, you beat yourself up, you can hardly eat or sleep because you feel so uneasy about everything. It's like you are at their mercy because you said your part...and now you just have to wait to hear what they say and ask. It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through, but in the end it makes you a MUCH stronger person. You really find out what you're made of.
I feel helpless just sitting an hour and a half away, listening to her voice quiver and her nose sniffle trying to fight back more tears. I've been there, but everyone's journey is different. I am trying to be as supportive and reassuring as possible, but it's hard to get her to listen when she feels so miserable and helpless. IT DOES GET BETTER!! It's just extremely hard at first...but it does get better.
Your parents love you no matter what, but you obviously feel like you've let everyone down. You haven't though. It's just a different path than what everyone else had planned for you. Sometimes people get so caught up in what they want that they forget to ask you what YOU want. What makes YOU happy?
If given the choice, I don't think either of us would have ever been like "Oooh do I want to be gay? Yes, please...sign me up." It doesn't work like that though.Your life kind of chooses you. If it means someone feels differently about you after the fact, then fuck them. But your parents are your parents and they're going to love you regardless of how you live your life. Parents and their children disagree on things...it happens. But you have to live your life the way your heart tells you. Not how everyone else thinks you should.
My heart is breaking for her right now and I wish I could just take all the pain and nervousness away because I remember quite vividly how awful it was to feel like that. Keep your head high and have patience.... You are loved very much.
IT WILL GET BETTER!!!
After having a bad day and being in a horrible mood, everything came rushing out of her in a tear filled tirade. And who could blame her? After having to hide such a big part of her life for years, seriously who could blame her? At first her mom took it pretty well, but as the days have passed things have begun to sink in and as I've experienced...it gets increasingly harder for a little bit.
It's hard because you feel guilty for 'disturbing the so-called peace' in their lives. You blame yourself, you beat yourself up, you can hardly eat or sleep because you feel so uneasy about everything. It's like you are at their mercy because you said your part...and now you just have to wait to hear what they say and ask. It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through, but in the end it makes you a MUCH stronger person. You really find out what you're made of.
I feel helpless just sitting an hour and a half away, listening to her voice quiver and her nose sniffle trying to fight back more tears. I've been there, but everyone's journey is different. I am trying to be as supportive and reassuring as possible, but it's hard to get her to listen when she feels so miserable and helpless. IT DOES GET BETTER!! It's just extremely hard at first...but it does get better.
Your parents love you no matter what, but you obviously feel like you've let everyone down. You haven't though. It's just a different path than what everyone else had planned for you. Sometimes people get so caught up in what they want that they forget to ask you what YOU want. What makes YOU happy?
If given the choice, I don't think either of us would have ever been like "Oooh do I want to be gay? Yes, please...sign me up." It doesn't work like that though.Your life kind of chooses you. If it means someone feels differently about you after the fact, then fuck them. But your parents are your parents and they're going to love you regardless of how you live your life. Parents and their children disagree on things...it happens. But you have to live your life the way your heart tells you. Not how everyone else thinks you should.
My heart is breaking for her right now and I wish I could just take all the pain and nervousness away because I remember quite vividly how awful it was to feel like that. Keep your head high and have patience.... You are loved very much.
IT WILL GET BETTER!!!
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