Who knew Joan Jett was actually kinda deep. Maybe it took her NOT being 19 in a rock band to discover what she was really all about.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll. And love.
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts- Hate Myself For Loving You
Midnight, gettin' uptight. Where are you?
You said you'd meet me, now it's quarter to two
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you.
Hey, Jack, It's a fact they're talkin' in town.
I turn my back and you're messin' around.
I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown.
I think of you ev'ry night and day.
You took my heart, then you took my pride away.
I hate myself for loving you .
Can't break free from the the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you .
Daylight, spent the night without you.
But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do.
I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through.
Hey, man, bet you can treat me right.
You just don't know what you was missin' last night.
I wanna see your face and say forget it just from spite.
I hate myself for loving you .
Can't break free from the the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you.
I hate myself for loving you.
Can't break free from the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you .
I think of you ev'ry night and day.
You took my heart, then you took my pride away.
I hate myself for loving you .
Can't break free from the the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you .
I hate myself for loving you .
I hate myself for loving you .
7.31.2010
7.28.2010
That's Real Dumb
So I'm laying in bed...trying to get sleepy. Flipping through channels...somehow I landed on the Real World (Nawlins). I hardly ever watch MTV. I think it has become such a dumb channel. I don't care that all the California kids are rich and eat out every single night. I don't care that Kristin loves Brody and that LC is actually a lesbian. Seriously, she's always single..... I don't care that all these Real World kids are alcoholics and either over the top GAY or homophobic. I don't care about 16 year olds who got knocked up and hate their bf/gfs. I just don't CAREEEEE.
Oh, but I can't wait for Jersey Shore 2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Honestly, I DO think every show on MTV is absolutely retarded. I am just so fascinated by these Jersey people. They are UNreal. They should just call it The Unreal World.
Enough of that!
Today was a good day. I seem to have more and more moments where I think about the past ever since I broke up with Jackie. I guess its just because you have a lot more time to think when you aren't focusing so much on one person. Plus, there is some serious self-eval that takes place after a break up. You look at everything and everyone you've been involved with, so I guess it is only natural to look back on individuals.
Some day I think I want to deal with that whole situation. When I was broken up with, it was over the phone. About two weeks after I had just been up to Connecticut to see her. I left Connecticut that morning never expecting that I would NEVER see her again. But that is what happened.
It took a long time, and recently I think I finally understand WHY things didn't work out. I understand what she felt now. What still gets me, however, is WHY things had to happen the way they happened. It is not right to just never see the person you loved so incredibly much ever again. Or am I wrong? I have no idea what I would do if I saw her again. Randomly. If I knew it was going to happen, I could prepare myself, but God help me if I ever just run into her. But hey...it's a long ass way from Canada to North Carolina hahahaha.
I'll shut up with all the nostalgia now. I probably didn't even use that correctly just now, but you know what? I don't care. I'm kind of sleepy! :)
Today was the first day I sat down and studied something since college! For my job, I had to read over a big manual today and learn all the details. I got it now. I think :)
It is so random to have Wednesday as my ONLY freakin' off day of the week. Tomorrow starts another 6-day cycle. Joy.
Ok well...that was another installment of my random closing thoughts of the day.
Until the next night...
Oh wait, if you like Kristen Stewart, but want to see her outside of 'Bella,' watch 'The Runaways.' She plays Joan Jett and is AWESOME. Totally opposite of Bella...dropping the f-bomb, making out and having sex with girls, crazy outfits...and best of all, A MULLET! I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Go watch it!
Oh, but I can't wait for Jersey Shore 2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Honestly, I DO think every show on MTV is absolutely retarded. I am just so fascinated by these Jersey people. They are UNreal. They should just call it The Unreal World.
Enough of that!
Today was a good day. I seem to have more and more moments where I think about the past ever since I broke up with Jackie. I guess its just because you have a lot more time to think when you aren't focusing so much on one person. Plus, there is some serious self-eval that takes place after a break up. You look at everything and everyone you've been involved with, so I guess it is only natural to look back on individuals.
Some day I think I want to deal with that whole situation. When I was broken up with, it was over the phone. About two weeks after I had just been up to Connecticut to see her. I left Connecticut that morning never expecting that I would NEVER see her again. But that is what happened.
It took a long time, and recently I think I finally understand WHY things didn't work out. I understand what she felt now. What still gets me, however, is WHY things had to happen the way they happened. It is not right to just never see the person you loved so incredibly much ever again. Or am I wrong? I have no idea what I would do if I saw her again. Randomly. If I knew it was going to happen, I could prepare myself, but God help me if I ever just run into her. But hey...it's a long ass way from Canada to North Carolina hahahaha.
I'll shut up with all the nostalgia now. I probably didn't even use that correctly just now, but you know what? I don't care. I'm kind of sleepy! :)
Today was the first day I sat down and studied something since college! For my job, I had to read over a big manual today and learn all the details. I got it now. I think :)
It is so random to have Wednesday as my ONLY freakin' off day of the week. Tomorrow starts another 6-day cycle. Joy.
Ok well...that was another installment of my random closing thoughts of the day.
Until the next night...
7.24.2010
Finding Rewards Where You Least Expect Them.
Today was a great day.
Tonight was unlike most of my normal Friday nights. There were no parties, no alcohol, no dancing. There was music, however. And boxes of rice, soy, dried veggies and chicken flavoring.
Yes, that's right. Tonight, I spent three hours at church making thousands of meal packets for starving kids in Haiti. It was the most fun I've had without margaritas or wine in a long time.
Feed My Starving Children. That is the organization we worked with tonight. They teach you how to package the food properly, then divide you into groups and set you up to pack food for a couple hours. Alongside a little boy, I scooped the rice and soy while he scooped the chicken and veggies. Mom bagged, and another family sealed while my dad packed the finished bags in the boxes to be shipped off to Haiti.
There were some competitive people there tonight, let me tell you. But...our table came in FIRST!!! We had the most boxes packed up. As a church, we packed around 35,000 meals tonight! That is enough food for 98 kids for a FULL YEAR!
It was so nice to do something to give back to the world for once...instead of taking. While it is relatively small in the GRAND scheme of things, I feel good knowing I helped feed a bunch of kids tonight.
On our way out of the packing area, the kitchen prepared samples of the food for us to try. It wasn't bad at all! Tasted like something Uncle Ben would put on the shelves.
Thinking about a mission trip down to Haiti.... We'll see!
Tonight was unlike most of my normal Friday nights. There were no parties, no alcohol, no dancing. There was music, however. And boxes of rice, soy, dried veggies and chicken flavoring.
Yes, that's right. Tonight, I spent three hours at church making thousands of meal packets for starving kids in Haiti. It was the most fun I've had without margaritas or wine in a long time.
Feed My Starving Children. That is the organization we worked with tonight. They teach you how to package the food properly, then divide you into groups and set you up to pack food for a couple hours. Alongside a little boy, I scooped the rice and soy while he scooped the chicken and veggies. Mom bagged, and another family sealed while my dad packed the finished bags in the boxes to be shipped off to Haiti.
There were some competitive people there tonight, let me tell you. But...our table came in FIRST!!! We had the most boxes packed up. As a church, we packed around 35,000 meals tonight! That is enough food for 98 kids for a FULL YEAR!
It was so nice to do something to give back to the world for once...instead of taking. While it is relatively small in the GRAND scheme of things, I feel good knowing I helped feed a bunch of kids tonight.
On our way out of the packing area, the kitchen prepared samples of the food for us to try. It wasn't bad at all! Tasted like something Uncle Ben would put on the shelves.
Thinking about a mission trip down to Haiti.... We'll see!
7.22.2010
It's just dumb luck.
Dumb Luck- Dntel
Just don't forget
That it's dumb luck that got you here
Don't fool yourself
Misfortunes waiting for the best time to appear
To make it clear
That all the courage and the talent that you had
Was just in dreams
And when you wake up
You will beg to get it back
To get it back
You interest your friends
They will betray you
With the love that's blinding
And then at the end they may admit
That you were missing something
And no one remembers even one word that left your mouth
All the melodies were stolen
From songs by someone else
You're out of time
And inspiration filled with self-pity and fear
And all the dreams that haven't dried up
Are slowly drowning in your tears
In your tears
Just don't forget
That it's dumb luck that got you here
Don't fool yourself
Misfortunes waiting for the best time to appear
To make it clear
That all the courage and the talent that you have
Was just in dreams
And when you wake up
You will beg to get it back
To get it back
Isn't this just SOOOO true? Life is a little bit of talent, faith and dumb luck.
Just don't forget
That it's dumb luck that got you here
Don't fool yourself
Misfortunes waiting for the best time to appear
To make it clear
That all the courage and the talent that you had
Was just in dreams
And when you wake up
You will beg to get it back
To get it back
You interest your friends
They will betray you
With the love that's blinding
And then at the end they may admit
That you were missing something
And no one remembers even one word that left your mouth
All the melodies were stolen
From songs by someone else
You're out of time
And inspiration filled with self-pity and fear
And all the dreams that haven't dried up
Are slowly drowning in your tears
In your tears
Just don't forget
That it's dumb luck that got you here
Don't fool yourself
Misfortunes waiting for the best time to appear
To make it clear
That all the courage and the talent that you have
Was just in dreams
And when you wake up
You will beg to get it back
To get it back
Isn't this just SOOOO true? Life is a little bit of talent, faith and dumb luck.
7.20.2010
Norway
Norway- Beach House
We were sleeping till
You came along
With your tiny heart
You let us in the wooden house
To share in all the wealth
Don't you know it's true?
Norway
Norway
Seven figures leap the hungry mouths
The beast, he comes to you
He's a hunter for a lonely heart
In the season of the sun
Don't you know it's true?
Norway
Norway
Where you thinking that you got to run to now
With the beating of a tiny heart?
Hang on to the things that you're supposed to say
Millions of stars, they open to your fate
Norway
Norway
We were sleeping till
You came along
With your tiny heart
You let us in the wooden house
To share in all the wealth
Don't you know it's true?
Norway
Norway
Seven figures leap the hungry mouths
The beast, he comes to you
He's a hunter for a lonely heart
In the season of the sun
Don't you know it's true?
Norway
Norway
Where you thinking that you got to run to now
With the beating of a tiny heart?
Hang on to the things that you're supposed to say
Millions of stars, they open to your fate
Norway
Norway
7.15.2010
Life is a beach. Or a highway.
It's funny how your mood changes when you escape your normal daily setting.
On a normal day, life is fast-paced, busy, hectic, annoying, loud, appointment-packed...etc. You wake up, shower (hopefully), dress, kiss the dogs good bye and head to wherever you're going. Bam bam bam. It's clockwork. Everyone comes home, moves like zombies around the house fixing and eating dinner. You vegetate on the couch in front of a big glowing bow with pictures moving around it. Then you crawl to your bedroom and drift off into a semi-deep sleep.
Daily life is like a drive on I-95.
And then you go to the beach!
You wake up whenever you want to. Lookin' like a hot mess. Go out to the balcony and breathe in the sea air. Get dressed on your own time and head to the beach whenever the mood strikes. No time crunch. Spend the day next to the water....the sun rejuvenating your tired body. Walk back to your condo when you're lobsterfied and take your time getting ready for dinner. Everyone is all smiles. Red cheeks and foreheads, but smiles. Shorts and t-shirts are acceptable attire. You eat somewhere on the water and reflect the day.
For a few days, life is no longer a bitch. But rather, a beach.
Everyone needs a little sunshine once and a while :)
On a normal day, life is fast-paced, busy, hectic, annoying, loud, appointment-packed...etc. You wake up, shower (hopefully), dress, kiss the dogs good bye and head to wherever you're going. Bam bam bam. It's clockwork. Everyone comes home, moves like zombies around the house fixing and eating dinner. You vegetate on the couch in front of a big glowing bow with pictures moving around it. Then you crawl to your bedroom and drift off into a semi-deep sleep.
Daily life is like a drive on I-95.
And then you go to the beach!
You wake up whenever you want to. Lookin' like a hot mess. Go out to the balcony and breathe in the sea air. Get dressed on your own time and head to the beach whenever the mood strikes. No time crunch. Spend the day next to the water....the sun rejuvenating your tired body. Walk back to your condo when you're lobsterfied and take your time getting ready for dinner. Everyone is all smiles. Red cheeks and foreheads, but smiles. Shorts and t-shirts are acceptable attire. You eat somewhere on the water and reflect the day.
For a few days, life is no longer a bitch. But rather, a beach.
Everyone needs a little sunshine once and a while :)
7.08.2010
I haven't vanished!
There has been A LOT going on these past two weeks. Hence the absence.
1. Saw Eclipse. AWESOME. I joked with my sister that I was team Bella... HAHA. But I was actually serious.
2. Family Reunion. AMAZING time. Traveled to East Bumble-Phuck, Indiana. (more on this later)
3. Goofy Grandma comes TOMORROW! Cleaning house and running errands for moms and pops.
Family Reunion time. Finally made it there after 10 hours and 5 extremely poopy, disgusting diapers. I was rather hesitant about going up there because, after all, it ISSSSS Pekin, Indiana. Population like what, 300? Half of who are somehow related to the Phillips. Weiiiiird.
I decided to stay with my Dad's half sister and her husband at one of our Indiana family member's house. Good choice. The house was pretty pimp. All of the houses are weird in Indiana. For example, the folks I stayed with...in their upstairs room (yes one bedroom upstairs) had a NICE triangle jacuzzi tub in it. No wall. Just right there next to the bed. Directly in front of the door. Ooookkkkkk. Lol.
The downstairs was cool though. I stayed in their kids' room. My cousins I guess. Well, one of my cousins, who is maybe 5 or 6, was OBSESSED with me. She followed me around the entire time, told everyone we were best friends, gave me some silly bands to wear for the weekend, waved to me if she was more than a foot away from me...oh and the best one of them all.... Walked into her room and goes "Mmmm it smells good in here." I said "Oh yea?" She goes "Yea!!! It smells like you." I was like OK looks like I'm locking the door tonight when I go to sleep. To make things worse, my Aunt Kendra who is about 5 or 6 years older than me was giving me constant shit about it the whole time hahahaha. The whole family was in on it. It was....strange, for lack of a better word.
First night there was awesome. Went in to Louisville, KY to an outdoor, free concert with Steel Magnolias headlining. Got crunk with the country cousins and their significant others. Good times. Second day was good. Hot. Outside all day at my Great Aunt and Uncle's house with everyone. Cornhole, tons of food, and fishing. Check out what I caught.
1. Saw Eclipse. AWESOME. I joked with my sister that I was team Bella... HAHA. But I was actually serious.
2. Family Reunion. AMAZING time. Traveled to East Bumble-Phuck, Indiana. (more on this later)
3. Goofy Grandma comes TOMORROW! Cleaning house and running errands for moms and pops.
Family Reunion time. Finally made it there after 10 hours and 5 extremely poopy, disgusting diapers. I was rather hesitant about going up there because, after all, it ISSSSS Pekin, Indiana. Population like what, 300? Half of who are somehow related to the Phillips. Weiiiiird.
I decided to stay with my Dad's half sister and her husband at one of our Indiana family member's house. Good choice. The house was pretty pimp. All of the houses are weird in Indiana. For example, the folks I stayed with...in their upstairs room (yes one bedroom upstairs) had a NICE triangle jacuzzi tub in it. No wall. Just right there next to the bed. Directly in front of the door. Ooookkkkkk. Lol.
The downstairs was cool though. I stayed in their kids' room. My cousins I guess. Well, one of my cousins, who is maybe 5 or 6, was OBSESSED with me. She followed me around the entire time, told everyone we were best friends, gave me some silly bands to wear for the weekend, waved to me if she was more than a foot away from me...oh and the best one of them all.... Walked into her room and goes "Mmmm it smells good in here." I said "Oh yea?" She goes "Yea!!! It smells like you." I was like OK looks like I'm locking the door tonight when I go to sleep. To make things worse, my Aunt Kendra who is about 5 or 6 years older than me was giving me constant shit about it the whole time hahahaha. The whole family was in on it. It was....strange, for lack of a better word.
First night there was awesome. Went in to Louisville, KY to an outdoor, free concert with Steel Magnolias headlining. Got crunk with the country cousins and their significant others. Good times. Second day was good. Hot. Outside all day at my Great Aunt and Uncle's house with everyone. Cornhole, tons of food, and fishing. Check out what I caught.
Sweet, eh? I thought so. It was about a 3 pounder.
The next day was at the house I was staying at. Went to church that morning. There about 20 of us there. Sweet. Came home and it was pool time! Had a hilarious volleyball game with a bunch of the family. Katie flashed everyone on the other team. Mom suit=1 Katie=0 The next day we left...long drive home. The end.
Grandma is coming. Lila turns 1 on Sunday. Knights of Columbus that happened FAST!!!!!! I can't believe it. She is so close to walking. She sasses me around. Constantly haha. But I love it. I am going to take GG around to look at some potential houses. Next week, on Wednesday I believe, we're heading to the beach!!! Woot woot.
That's all for now. I have to finish cleaning house. Oh...and I still haven't written thank you cards. From my graduation. In May.
Hey, nobody's perfect.
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