Post Number 100!!!

I can hardly believe it! I've almost been blogging for a year now and I am super proud of myself for actually starting it and sticking to it. I really attribute it to that special someone in my life who makes me a better version of myself. Since she came into my life, I've turned over a new leaf where I actually do the things I say I'm going to. I do things to better my life and for that, I'm truly thankful for. Thank you for making me better every day.

100 is divisible by 10....which is the number of days Sarah is going to be gone in EUROPE! I am so excited that she has the opportunity to travel overseas and see a part of the world that some people never get to see. Visiting another country is an incredible experience. You realize that there are so many things you take for granted. Both materialistically and relationship-wise. Small comforts that you don't think twice about don't exist in other worlds. On a day to day basis, you can pick up the phone and call whoever you want. Sarah and I talk whenever we want. Sometimes you forget to appreciate even the shortest, least significant conversations. But those same conversations suddenly take new meaning when you no longer have the option to just pick up the phone and hear her voice.

It's weird when you're apart from someone you love, nevermind a half a world away. It's going to be weird looking up at the sun and moon, knowing that even though she's so far away, we are still a part of the same world and are somehow still connected by the universe. You can be a world away, but still see the same thing that they are seeing.

I know I sound really weird right now, but I can't help it. I just think a lot when something is bothering me. Not that I'm 'bothered' really....just going to miss her while she's gone. We both love to travel and I want to be experiencing everything I can with her. I can't wait to do all that one day.

My world is going halfway around our world....HAVE FUN, BE SAFE and BRING ME BACK SOMETHING COOL!!!! :)

People Call Us Renegades 'cause We Like Living CRAZY!

Holy moly...

Let me pause to take a deep breath, blink and really think about the past 3-4 days of my life!

This weekend was Sarah's birthday and it was, in one word, GREAT! I rented a boat and we spent the day on High Rock Lake with friends. The weather was beautiful and I couldn't have asked for a better day. I toook Monday off to spend with her. And then we launched one of our crazy schemes...

Her parents were leaving to go out of town on Monday....soooooo I decided to drive down to Charlotte with her that afternoon and spend one more night together. Maybe I wouldn't have done it if the circumstances hadn't been what they are... But here's why:

Sarah leaves for Europe in a week. She will be gone for 10 days... That is 10 days that I will go without really getting to talk to her. In this day and age I can't REALLY complain because it seems like we are all always connected in one way or another through cell phones, emails, Facebook, etc...

But when I get up in the morning, she is the first person I think of (besides Lexi jingling her collar to go outside). We have this routine...and it's what I have come to love and know over the last 9 months. We talk on the phone on the way to work, on her way to/from lunch and on the way home. This is how every day goes unless we are in a stupid argument in which case we try really hard to ignore each other, even though the whole time it's killing us to do so. (Yea...humans are strange!)

It will be so weird, ick, disheartening, depressing, what have you...when I wake up in the morning and go to grab my phone to say hello. Or when 8:45 rolls around and she doesn't call because she's not leaving for work. Or when lunch time comes and goes. Or 6:00 rolls around and I don't get a ride home call. These are things that I don't really think about on a day to day basis...they just kind of are. But now that I know I won't have them, it makes me appreciate them that much more and truly realize what a HUGE part of my daily life she is.

This is the love that you sit and think about and can't even imagine your life without it. I was dog-tired yesterday from the weekend and having to get up at the crack of dawn to come back to Greensboro. My eyes burned all day and I felt sick to my stomach. Every lost second of sleep, every dollar that goes into my gas tank, every second of time that I have to wake up earlier is worth it for her.

We joke that we are crazy for some of the shit we do--but, I'm totally ok with it. The stories are fantastic and I doubt people will believe them one day. Every crazy thing I do/have done is driven by love. It is like love at all costs. Anyone who says it's a bad thing is probably just envious that they don't have what we have.

Are things easy and smooth sailing all the time? No, not at all. Just like everything in life, there are doubts, hard days and questions... but at the end of the day, the heart can't lie...

The brain can think what it wants, but the heart controls everything in the body.

I loved everything about this weekend...right down to the early morning drive back to Greensboro :)

Motivators

Why is it that anger and money are two of the biggest motivators? Maybe that's just in my life, but I could see it being universal. I'm angry right now....therefore, motivation is creeping back in the picture. Maybe I've been too comfortable lately. It's time to get back to it. I can hardly talk I'm so annoyed/angered/whatever...just need to convert this energy into something positive.

Sarah's birthday is this weekend and I'm beyond anxious to see her. It's been two weeks just about. Shitty part is, after I see her for these few short days, I won't see her for a while. She's going to Europe for ten days. I'm so so so excited she is going overseas to experience another part of the world. It's something that everyone should do. I don't think she knows how much I will miss her.

I rarely ever get in bad moods like this. Usually if I do, it's over in a day. But this mood just keeps coming back. Things keep happening to set me off again. I hate it. I hate not being myself because I so badly want to hide it, but I'm pretty sure my foul mood is crystal clear. Ugh....

I just want to snap out of it

Contemplating

So I've been thinking of starting a second blog called "A Sunset a Day." My apartment is home to the view of Greensboro's sunsets EVERYYYYY night. 90% of the time they are absolutely stunning! My plan is to take a picture every night at sunset and post it... I get awesome pics on my phone and figured this was kind of a cool way to document my time in my current apartment. I don't ever want to forget the view!!!

In other news...

In other news...I started writing this at 10:00 this morning and have not had a chance to finish. I forgot what I was even writing about, so I should probably just delete the post, but whatevs.

Oh wait..I do know! Bitches be runnin' wild... I've had some people haunting my dreams at night and keeping me up and it's driving me insane!!!!! I have the most vivid dreams out of anyone I know. My dreams have been so real lately and I really think they are the reason I'm not sleeeeeping. I'm sleeping, but am not resting and it's pissing me off! To all the people in my dreams (besides the people that I love and have good dreams about) STAY OUT OF MY DREAMS!!!

I need a nap...

Ready for Fall

This morning I slowly awoke from my deep slumber full of vivid dreams of things to come and hopeful scenarios. I hit snooze twice and almost fell back asleep for good when I turned my alarm off...but I reluctantly threw off the covers and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Put on some clothes and headed out to the living room to get Lexi on her leash and take her out. She squealed with delight that it was finally time to wake up and go outside. As soon as I opened the door I was pleasantly surprised..

Instead of a firey inferno scorching me to death and a thick cloud of humidity filling my lungs, I took a deep breath and realized...OMG it's like fall out!! It was dry, cool and there was a light breeze blowing. This summer has been one of the hottest that I can remember. Seriously... Thank God for moving to the apartment and having a pool because otherwise it would have been miserable!

There is supposed to be a little bit of a cool off next week. And by cool off, I mean upper 80s, which at this point feels like heaven. Hopefully it triggers a trend and we slowly start to ease into the cool, crisp fall weather that I love sooo much. I'm sure we will get one or two more blasts of hot ass weather, but for real....it's time for a change of weather. I think our pool closes the first weekend of September :( So it better start cooling off!!!!

Even though the Kings of Leon weekend didn't work out, Sarah and I still had a good one. Not that any weekend with her is ever bad, but we were both REALLY looking forward to that concert. We hung out at my apartment, went to Wine Styles and dinner, and overall just enjoyed spending time with each other. Her birthday is in less than two weeks; which is also the next time I'll see her. And probably the last time before she heads off to Europe for ten days. Mehh... September is going to be tough. But we always seem to figure something out, so hopefully September isn't an exception.

Kings of LeGONE

I am still super pissed. Yesterday afternoon as I talked to my girl on her trek back to Charlotte, we were talking about this coming weekend and how excited we were for the Kings of Leon concert. We were talking about what we were going to wear, the songs we couldn't wait to hear, how we were going to smuggle in alcohol in protest of paying 10 dollars for a tall boy... And then my email ringer went off in my ear.

::COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES::

An email from LiveNation came through: "Your event (Kings of Leon concert) has been cancelled" .............................................

What the fuck?!?! Seriously? She thought I was joking...sadly I was not. The words I read echoed in my head all afternoon, evening and night. They're still there this morning. The whole weekend was going to be a blast and now, I have no idea what is going on. Other than the fact that I have a train ticket to Charlotte for Thursday after work.

I hate when I get my hopes up for something and it blows up in my face. It really bothers me even though it's beyond my control. I was just SO looking forward to it...especially being there with Sarah. Hearing all our favorite songs...mehhhhh.

So now I have to figure out the rest of the weekend and how I'm getting back to Greensboro on Sunday...

I feel a little like the scene in National Lampoon's Vacation where they drive all the way to Wally World only to find that it is closed for repairs. Yep...kinda like that.

Sigh...