Who's the parent and who's the child?

It kills me when I can't make that distinction.

I love coaching basketball, but God do I hate the drama that somehow always finds its' way into things. I don't get why parents lose site of what AAU is about. It's not rec league...it is designed to be highly competitive. Hence why it is a tad pricey.

AAU is about learning a higher level of basketball. It is about figuring out if basketball is really what your passion is. It is designed to take the kids who are serious about playing basketball on to the next level. It becomes very clear at a certain age who is going to make it, and who doesn't have a chance. Right now, my team is split. I have half who could really go somewhere and half that don't have a snowball's chance in hell at making it.

Out of the goodness of my heart, I kept the girls who are in it for the social aspect as a nice gesture. So they could travel and have a blast with their friends on the team. That is, unless the parent is unhappy. When the parent(s) is/are unhappy, it wears on the kid. When the parents start acting like children, it affects the actual kid. They hear their parents bitch about things like playing time, and suddenly something the kid never thought of is now a big issue in their mind. Now they lose sight of the 'team aspect' and focus all their attention on their role or lack thereof.

Parents are psychotic. Plain and simple. I get that a parent's love for their child is only something a parent will understand....but COME ON. They HAVE to see that their daughter freaking SUCKS at basketball, and that I'm actually doing her a favor by not playing her...otherwise she would embarrass herself.

Whatever...I hate drama...especially amongst 'adults.'

So over today...scratch that...just ready to be at home tonight talking to the one person who makes me feel better about everything.

Cool Thing

"She didn't come there looking for love. And the cool thing was, neither did I, neither did I."

I have always loved that song, but as it played this morning, it took new meaning for me. As I sleepily got dressed this morning, I suddenly stopped in my tracks and just listened to the words above.

It took me back to November. The 19th to be exact. I knew that my friend Stephen's friend Sarah was coming up that weekend. In my mind, I was not looking for anything. Especially not to fall in love. As far as I was concerned, we were two very different individuals. I figured we'd go out that night, get to know each other and have fun, and become two people that met one time.

I was SO nervous and I didn't really know why. I guess in the back of my mind I was like, "I am meeting a gorgeous blonde and that maybe, just maybe, something could come of it." I quickly talked myself out of that, however, so that I didn't set myself up for disappointment or whatever it was that I was afraid of. I had never been so nervous to meet a new person, which weirded me out because I'm never nervous to meet new people.

The day came. She tried to back out of coming, but I told Stephen to tell her to quit being a flake and to get up here and party with us. She did.

I remember when Stephen got the phone call that she was close. I was sitting in his kitchen drinking a beer to take the edge off my nerves. Still didn't know why I was nervous, other than the fact that her beauty was extremely intimidating. When the phone rang and Stephen went outside to get her, my heart was pounding. Then the door opened and I slowly and casually looked up, like it was no big deal to see her walking in. My heart skipped a beat and I stood up and we shook hands and said hello. I immediately offered her a beer...which she gladly accepted. I found out later that she was equally as nervous...

I'll admit...I felt super awkward before we left. I was all out of sorts, but trying to be calm and myself at the same time. Time was moving fast, so I suggested that we get on the road. She sat up front with me and took control of my iPod. We talked music and stuff...we had the a ton of the same music. It was funny because as we were driving, she was totally side-seat driving. I thought it was cute. I knew I had a crush.

We got to our sweet ass hotel room and all started drinking for going out that night. We continued to talk and get to know each other. It was easier as we "loosened up" more :) When everyone was ready, we headed out to the bar Stephen wanted to go to. After an INSANE cab ride, we got to the bar. There were 2 people inside other than us. Literally! Stephen really wanted to dance, so he did. Sarah and I spent the whole time just talking to each other. I could start to tell we had this insane connection.

We headed home later and decided to night cap it at the hotel room. It was really chill. Stephen and Andrew headed to bed, but Sarah and I were still up so we got in bed and watched some tv. We got pretty tired fast, so we turned out the lights and shut off the tv off.

We laid down...she was super close to me. My heart was racing and then we kissed. And now here we are. One night turned into what we have now. It blows my mind every time I think about it. Which is probably why I think about it all the time.

She didn't go there looking for love, and the cool thing is, neither did I...

Good-bye, 22

I hate odd numbers. It's a little quirk of mine. Today is my last day of being 22 years old. 22 just happens to be my favorite number, so I'm a little sad to see it go.

What a year 22 was for me.

I look at a year ago and look at myself now. A LOT has changed.

Graduated
Work a full time job
Insurance Agent
Coach AAU
Fell head over heels in lerve
Met some great friends
Moved out

Those are just the major things...there are probably a million little things I could think of, but I'll save anyone who's reading this from enduring that.

This past weekend was fantastic. Sarah came in town for my birthday, and her, Stephen, Kevin, my roommate and family all made the weekend great. I had a tournament this weekend, but thankfully we only played 4 games and they were all at very convenient times!

I was spoiled rotten in the gift department. A bunch of cool stuff from Anthropologie, a shirt from Victoria's Secret, a beautiful necklace, really neat wine glasses, scarf and earrings from Banana and some money from the family. Oh and a bottle of Makers from my neighbor! Did I forget anything....probably..

After my games on Saturday, I went home and spent some time with Sarah before we got ready to head out for the evening with Stephen and Kevin. With the top down on Kevin's Jeep on a GORGEOUS day, we headed over to WineStyles for a couple of glasses of wine before heading to my parents' house for my party.

My dad made fried chicken and all the sides...it was de-lish! My whole family was there, the neighbors were all out...it was a goooood time. We played cornhole and got in the hot tub, before finally hitting the wall and deciding it was time to head home to collapse into bed...which is exactly what we did!

22 was a good one...I grew up in a lot of ways. I said good-bye to some people in my life and was fortunate enough to meet the people I'm closest with now. I truly have an amazing set of people in my life who love me and are there for me. For that I am truly blessed.

Tomorrow I welcome number 23!

Animal

"Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you..."

Animal

I am in love,
With what we are,
Not what we should be.

And I am,
I am starstruck.
With every part,
Of this whole story.

So if it's just tonight,
The animal inside,
Let it live and die.

Like it's the end of time,
Like everything inside,
Let it live and die.

This is our last chance,
Give me your hands.
'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.
The night is fading, heart is racing.
Now just come and love me like we're gonna die.

I'm not asleep, I'm up for the fight
Into the magic.
And I don't, want the concrete.

I am alive.
Comes with the tragic.

So if it's just tonight,
The animal inside,
Let it live and die.

This is our last chance, Give me your hands.
'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.
The night is fading, heart is racing.
Now just come and love me like we're gonna die.

This is our last chance, Give me your hands.
'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.
The night is fading, heart is racing.
Now just come and love me like we're gonna die. Oh.

Productive Weekend

This weekend was actually pretty great! Although it didn't involve seeing my beautiful girlfriend, it was still awesome.

My roommate and I hung out pretty much all weekend.

I had a rough Friday night. It had been a weird day, and then I spent most of the night by myself. It's a little weird still when Friday night rolls around and I don't have plans. Just a little reminder that I'm growing up more every day. I don't mind being alone...just takes some getting used to. Friday night I was a little down, but spent the night watching movies with my roomie when he got home.

Woke up Saturday feeling pretty refreshed. I was looking forward to it all night because I knew it was going to be a gorgeous day. I got a few things done around the house, then made my way over to the 'rents house to pick up some stuff to do some yardwork. I called my roommate on the way back, picked us up some lunch and met him back at the house around 1:30. It was beautiful out! After we ate, we discussed where in the world to even start!! We decided to just start hacking away. 4 hours later we were done...tired, but done. I re-shaped all the bushes on the front of the house...unfortunately, using an electric hedger made my hands so numb that they shook the rest of the night every time I made a fist...weird feeling!

We also chopped down all the dead trees that were blocking part of the house. Our walkway now looks open and inviting, rather than scary and 'oh my God, something is going to jump out and eat me.' I've never had a yard to take care of, but I actually enjoy it a lot. Working outside all day is very therapeutic...so is swinging an ax or digging up plants haha.

We've been blessed with good weather as of late...hopefully it stays like this through my birthday next weekend/week.

I hate Sunday nights because I know Monday morning is looming around the corner. I'm actually anxious for this week to get started so that I move one day closer to next weekend...AKA celebrating my birthday and Sarah will be in town. I also have our first tournament that weekend...I'm excited to see how the girls have progressed since we started in February.

I also acquired another roommate this weekend. My friend Lauren moved into our third bedroom. I wish she was moving in under better circumstances, but we're still glad to have her. Tonight is really nice actually... After finishing some stuff in the yard most of the day with Stephen and Jacob, and after Lauren moved her stuff in, we're all sitting around just hanging out. Kevin came over and is cooking everyone dinner. Smells so good my mouth is watering. Good friends, good food, good wine...just need my girl!

"Fun" Fridays

Usually Fridays are awesome and I'm in a great, quirky, hyper, energetic, looking forward to 5:00 kinda mood.

Today is different, though. I wish I didn't take everything to heart so easily. There is just certain stuff that hits me hard. I hate when someone I love is messed with. I hate arguing, unless it's just for fun. I hate tension, unless it's the good kind. When any of the above happen, it always seems to hit me right in my core and there is really no good way of hiding it.

I was hoping to wake up and feel better, but, when either a cat in heat or a dying cat woke me up at 4, I knew Friday was going to be 'fun.'

My normal activities and habits are all screwed up and I feel like I'm all over the place. Hearing and reading stuff, but not processing.

I don't know...I have to find a way to not let every little thing get to me, but it's really hard when it's something that tugs on your heart strings.

It's still early, though...

Days Go By

It's weird when you start to feel yourself getting older. When you graduate and head off into the work world, you never dream you'll feel the way you do months later. You go from party animal with seemingly endless energy to this tired version of yourself that would rather sit at home on Friday night and relax in front of the tv. Partly because you're tired and partly because spending money makes you cringe a little.

This is where I'm at.

A year ago, when the week would be winding down, there wasn't even a question about my plans. After class was over, it was time to start partying with my friends...kicking off the weekend (and by weekend I mean Wednesday or Thursday night) right with a little liquid fun. Whatever night it was, we usually ended up out waaaay too late, etc. etc.

I'm lucky if I make it to midnight now.

When you graduate, you swear to yourself that you won't change. You will still go out allllll the time and do this and that; but the truth of the matter is, not many stick to that promise. I certainly haven't. Do I still go out? Of course...I'm in my young 20's.  But not nearly as often as I once did. Responsibility kicks in. I would say that becomes very apparent once you're out on your own. There is something about living on your own that makes something click in your head. It's like "Oh...no I can't really go out because I need to do laundry for work tomorrow." Or "Good God I can't even think about going out because I'm exhausted, the kitchen is a mess, I can't find my bed under my mountain of dirty clothes." Sometimes you just say screw it, and carry on with your old lifestyle. But I'd say that 90% of the time now, I choose staying in rather than going out.

Honestly, it's cheaper, safer and I usually have more fun. Plus I can wear sweats :-D

It's a weird feeling when you start hearing your brain throw around the words "settling down." I'm not lying when I said I have been a party animal in the past. Don't get me wrong, I still look to have a good time all the time. But I feel like something has changed inside of me. I want to be a better version of myself than I ever have been. Credit my girlfriend...I think we bring out each other's good sides. Most of the time at least. We still both revert to old tendencies, but we're young and human so whateverrrrrr. I just like where I'm at and how I feel. Plain and simple.

It's good to be in love. It's f'in fantastic actually.

Productivity...what is that again?

This is one of the few weekends I'll have to sleep in come up here shortly. I think I slept until maybe 10ish, but my loving girlfriend had work this morning, so I received early phone calls. I'm not complaining...she's the only one I DON'T care about calling and waking me up.

I have a lot to do today. I shit ton of laundry has piled up in my room. It really looks like my closet and drawers spewed everywhere. I can't live like that...maybe that's why I haven't slept well this week--the mess!!!!!

Ok, I'm sounding crazy...like my mom on a neurotic Saturday morning. I remember weekend mornings as a kid.  I'd try to sleep in...my room was right over the kitchen, so I'd drown out the cabinets shutting and the glasses and dishes clanging. I'd ignore the soothing aroma of freshly brewed coffee, pull my pillow over my head and try and sleep in. And then it would happen. I'd hear the vacuum turn on and I knew it was allllll over. One stair at a time, the demonic moaning of the vacuum would inch closer and closer to my room until finally it would happen. The damn thing would knock into my door "on accident" of course. Right mom... And then I'd be up and cleaning until the house was cleaner than an operating room. Lovelyyyyyy.

Today, my house is a shit hole. It's been a hellacious week. I've had zero time or energy to do anything. But alas! That is what Saturdays are for. Today's activities:

Wash car...when I say wash, I mean scrub and hope to God it comes clean. Haven't washed it since...nevermind I'm too embarrassed.
Wax car
Clean up house
Clean bathroom
Laundry...work clothes must be washed asap

Lastly and most importantly, prepare for Hurricane Sarah to come through ;-)

Gonna be a good day I think :)

Don't knock it, don't knock it

It's the little things that make me happy...

Listening to great music in some old school Kings of Leon while I write this

Cute texts from my girl

Driving home into beautiful sunsets

Re-watching videos of my cute little niece on my phone

These are just a few of the little things that make me infinitely happy :)

Today's track on repeat: Adele- To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

This is perfect for today :)

"Bloodstream"- Stateless

Wake up
Look me in the eyes again
I need to feel your hand upon my face

Words can be like knives
They can cut you open
And then the silence surrounds you and haunts you

I think I might have inhaled you
I could feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I could feel you floating in me

Words can be like knives
They can cut you open
And then the silence surrounds you and haunts you

I think I might have inhaled you
I could feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I could feel you floating in me

The spaces in between
Two minds and all the places they have been
The spaces in between
I tried to put my finger on it
I tried to put my finger on it
I think I might've inhaled you

I could feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I could feel you floating in me

I think I might've inhaled you
I could feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I could feel you floating in me