What a week...

This has been quite the week...full of allllll kinds of emotions. Elated, surprised, angry, sad, happy, and most recently SICK!!!

That's  right...the flu. I've never had the flu and hope to God I don't get it again because it feels like death. I always get a flu shot, and got one again this year...so apparently some mutant strand formed and is now wreaking havoc on most of the people I know. Awesome...

The week started out kind of rough. It sucks not being with your valentine on Valentine's Day.

But low and behold, I was in for a surprise a few days later! My best friend, my roommate and my girl all decided to be sneaky. After work on Thursday, I met my friend Stephen after work for drinks. We then decided we were going to go get more drinks to take home and continue hanging out with one of his visiting friends. As soon as we pull up, Stephen yells "I'm on the phone, I'll be right in..." Ok. So I walk inside and see that my kitchen light is on and I'm like hmmm that's weird... And right as I set my stuff down, a little flicker of light caught my eye.

A candle...another candle...a lot of candles. A blanket on the floor with two salads, 2 wine glasses and some wine. Wait a second, I recognize that blanket... I don't think my heart beat the entire time this was happening...or as I walked down the dark hallway to my room. Right as I got to my room, she stepped out of my doorway and I immediately hugged her. And didn't let go for a while. It was like a huge rush of emotions and I could hardly control myself trying not to lose it.

After we were sure I wasn't having a heart attack, we settled down on the floor and chatted and dug into our salads. She also made dinner and we enjoyed the wine she brought. It was nice to just sit and relax with each other after not seeing each other for a while. Definitely one of the best surprises and nights I've ever had.

By the next night, she was back in Charlotte and both of us were starting to feel the effects of the flu. Wonderful... and since then, the past two days have been awful. I've never felt so weak and shitty before. At least I was able to stay home and rest...she had to work and I feel sooooo sorry for her because this thing is no joke. I watched my roommate have it and a bunch of coworkers. Terrible.

Hopefully everyone's good by Thursday so we can get on the road to DC!!

Valentine's Day...Our Own Way :)

So one of the joys of being in a 'long' distance relationship is that when holidays, such as Valentine's Day, fall on random days of the week, you don't get to spend them together...

Then there is the added stress of what do you for them? Send flowers? Send something?! In our case, there is a little more of a twist to all, but it's ok because it makes things challenging sometimes...and who doesn't like a good challenge? I really really wanted to do something special for her, but there was just no way to do that unless I sent it anonymously...which would still spawn lots of questions for her to answer... Damn, maybe I should have sent something and signed it from "One of your creepy resident stalkers." Next time...next time...

The two of us kinda have our own style...  Meaning, we have this way we do things. Our surprises are always busted! She pulls stuff out of me, or things don't go according to plan. It happens quite frequently, but I actually kinda love it because we just sit there and laugh about it and it always turns out ok. That's why I got the best Valentine's Day gift today...in the form of an email that was just so cute to me.

Basically, she figured out that to have flowers delivered on VDay, you kinda have to do it in advance... In her email, she explained that she was angry because no flower place would be able to deliver flowers to me today. She was going to have them sent to the office and surprise me with a note that said:

"Love is too weak a word. I lerve you. You know, I lo-ove you. Happy Valentines Day Kristen!!! I love you!!"

That is kind of an inside thing with us and I don't know why, but getting all of this in email form (picture of roses included) was somehow really romantic to me and totally our style!! Just one of the many reasons I love her :)

Our Valentine's Day will happen next week before we leave for DC...in our own way, with our own style thrown in and I couldn't be happier about it!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone...

Love this!

"I am in love with what we are...not what we should be."

Little Transformations

When you fall in love, you go through a series of transformations. It happens at a different rate for everyone, but if you are really in love with someone...eventually stuff about you changes.

I'm not talking about changing who you are. You should be loved and you should love for who someone is NOW...not what you want them to be.

I'm talking about the transformations that make you a better version of yourself than you thought you ever could be. Changes in how you treat people and how you think of yourself. Most recently, I've gone through the transformation where life's problems aren't just your own anymore. You are not the only one who can affect your mood and emotions.

When the person you love is hurting, you hurt too. When they are sad, you feel it too. All you want to do is reach inside of their heavy heart, take out the problem and deal with it on your own. It is especially hard at a distance because you can't even offer up a hug or simply lay with them and just let them get it all out. It's easier for each person to hide how much something is bothering them when you're just talking about something online or on the phone... When you're face to face, it makes the emotions that much stronger and undeniable.

All I know is that I've learned a few things about myself:  I hate when there is something wrong with the person I love and I can't do anything about it. It unnerves me. I can't think about anything else because in the back of my mind, I know everything isn't alright. I like to hold things together...I can't stand when I feel like I'm part of the reason that things aren't 'together.' I'm a very protective person...I probably guard other people more than I guard myself. I would sacrifice a lot more for someone rather than myself.

Love is putting the other person first...that's what my parents told me. Makes for a great relationship and I'm happy to say I'm in one of those.